I know the pain of not having a dad to celebrate with on Father’s Day: the vulnerability, anger, rejection and self-doubt that lingers when you feel that you’ve been abandoned.
I also know the healing power that having a dad in your life can have. Even as an adult, I can see the benefits of reconnecting with my father after 15+ years of us not speaking to each other. I feel the love and acceptance that I longed for as a child. I am more self-aware of my strengths and weaknesses, with my dad as a helpful example. (You can read more about me reconnecting with my dad here).
A father’s impact is well-documented far beyond my own personal experiences. Brad Wilcox, who is the director of the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia, has written extensively on why dads matter. In a recent interview with Deseret News, Wilcox summarized academic research to outline four ways that involved fathers can make unique contributions to the growth and development of their children:
“the rough-and-tumble play dads engage in with their children uniquely teaches children how to control their bodies and forge friendships on and off the field”
“fathers foster independence… fathers encourage risk-taking and embracing the new”
“fathers protect against bad influences and predators”
“dads are more likely to hold their children to a clear standard — to be sticklers for family rules and to take an authoritative posture with their children
It’s important that dads and moms are similarly encouraged to have a meaningful role in their children’s lives.
Unfortunately, today, families must contend with political and cultural pressures that may undermine the bond between parents and their kids.
One of the more troubling examples of these political and cultural pressures came earlier this month in Edmonton, Alberta. An audio recording from Londonderry Junior High exposed a teacher berating a Muslim student for having different religious beliefs from her own. “You don’t belong here,” the teacher says to the student. The National Council of Canadian Muslims described the teacher’s comments as “deeply Islamophobic, inappropriate and harassing behaviour.”
Ultimately, this teacher is attacking parental rights. Such behaviour from a teacher risks alienating a student from his or her religion, culture and traditions. And where do students receive their religion, culture and traditions? Largely from their parents.
Most Canadians believe it’s the right of moms and dads to pass on their religion, culture and traditions to their kids, without government interference.
Prime Minister Justin Trudeau disagrees. Trudeau has dismissed Canadians who are concerned with parental rights and described such Canadians as “far-right actors.” But, in this case, Trudeau’s attempt to marginalize those who disagree with him might not actually work. Polling shows that a majority of Canadians support policies that protect parental rights in public education.
Last week, Tesla’s Elon Musk brought global attention to the parental rights debate when he challenged the Biden administration. In a video posted by the White House, President Joe Biden described American children as “not somebody else’s kids, they’re all our kids” (as in, the federal government’s kids). Musk defiantly responded, stating “You are the government. They are NOT your kids.” He later shared his perspective as a father, “Our kids are not fodder for the government.”
Father’s Day is about celebrating dads. But it’s hard to ignore that the current news cycle is full of stories of kids being influenced to turn against the ways of their fathers.
My hope for your family is that this year’s Father’s Day will not be just a private celebration. I hope it will also be a time for all of us to publicly affirm that dads do indeed matter.
Thanks for reading some of my thoughts from the campaign trail. If you’d like to support my campaign to become the next Conservative Member of Parliament for the riding of Durham, please consider making a donation or joining our team of volunteers.
Yes, I believe that dads do matter. I am a father and, very importantly, a dad - there is a difference, of course: the first is simply biology and the second is nurture. I am happy that I am a father but I am ecstatic that I am a dad.
My own dad is now gone, a little less than twenty years in my case, and one day it will be my turn. Until that time, I work at assisting my two children with their own children and being the best grandad that I can be to help my adult children in their parenting roles but, very much, to demonstrate to my grandchildren the role of the grandparent - grandfather in my case, grandmother in my wife's case - in their life.
Sure do. Mine is no longer with me but YES, Dad's matter ❤️